Monday, March 5, 2007

The Biology of What Women Want

In understanding what women want, why they want it, and what that has to do with your perceptions of yourself, it is important to remember biology and the part it plays.

While it is easy to forget that we are creatures subject to our nature as well as sociological influence, it is important to put women’s wants in to context; to understand why they seek what they seek, and why they seek those things. It is easy to dismiss them as at best illogical, and at worst shallow and deceitful. Misunderstanding might even lead one to be contemptible of women.


In as much as popularly and with little examination a man might be measured by his bedding of many women and his level of financial means, it is important to examine why women would desire these traits in men. If not for long-term mates, then at least in the men to which they are attracted.

Why do women seek alpha males? Why are women attracted to men with money and power?


Once impregnated women will be carry a child for 9 months, and therefore will need "security.” In the past, women would need someone to protect them physically as well as forage for food, while they could not fend for themselves. They would not have been self-reliant at this time.

In today's world "security" is financial, though it can be physical as well. If there's a loud noise outside, guess who's going to check it out. Women seek and find men attractive that have money, because they will be able to provide “security” for them and their offspring.

In addition there are certain traits men that are financially successful that women also find attractive: aggressiveness, risk-taking, and the esteem that goes along with being successful.

This is also the contradiction of modern life, which leads to the misunderstanding of what women want. It is the abstract nature of modern life that is confusing.

Women want their men, sexy and virile. This is not logical, except in terms of biology, where they are trying to ensure their genes survival through mating with other strong genes.

This is also the main reason why sex while cheating results in pregnancy more often (percentage-wise) than sex between committed partners. During an illicit sexual encounter women are at their most fertile, when their body is actively searching for the strongest genes possible to merge with their own.

They will thus seek out the male, who may have no sense of commitment and who would therefore make a terrible mate in terms of child-rearing, but who exhibits those alpha-male characteristics.

Alpha males are highly desirable by all females for these characteristics, and may seem like jerks or assholes to everyone else, but it is the knowledge that they can get ass whenever they want it that leads to this attitude. By knowing it is always available to you makes you more attractive. This is the same reason it’s always easier to pick up chicks when you’ve got a girlfriend. It’s like walking a tightrope with a net, absolutely no fear of falling. If you can maintain this attitude all the time, even when you don’t have a girlfriend, you will instantly be more attractive to females. Achieving this attitude is a state of being desireless.


Many studies have shown that women prefer the more dependable, stable nice guy when they finally decide to settle down. So they spend their tight, toned youth fucking the jocks and settle down with the geeks.

While seeking financial security is still biological in nature, it introduces some pragmatism on the woman's part. We live in an abstract society, and they will need to be provided for in terms of financial security, as opposed to physical security. This is the one of the reasons women search out men with money.

One cannot ignore the sociological underpinnings of why a women would seek a man that has money or is highly desirable to other women. It has to do with status. The more choices a man has in terms of women, the more desirable he becomes. And if she can land the guy with the most options, then she must be the most desirable female.

While this may lack profundity, let’s take a closer look. An average looking girl can get laid just about anytime that she wants. A man on the other hand, must woo women and hope to “get lucky.” Women are therefore the gate-keepers.

This is also the reason for that age-old double-standard for promiscuity of the sexes. Men are lauded for their sexual prowess, while women are demonized as sluts or whores. Men do not have to exhibit restraint and must always be ready when the opportunity is bestowed upon them. Because of constant male-readiness, women must be the ones that practice restraint, as it is always available to them.

Now you can begin to see why women would want the guy that they can’t sleep with necessarily. If they feel a guy is choosy, they want to show that they are worthy of being chosen. That’s why you need to make them understand that it’s a casting call and that it’s your couch
they’ll be doing it on…but only if decided that they’re right for the part.

Therefore, the lesson here is to always make women audition for you. You don't need to impress them, you know what you're bringing, make them prove their worthiness to you.

Understanding why women seek these things, one begins to see them not as shallow money grubbers or liking jerks, but as just acting instinctually. You shouldn't hate women, feel that they are illogical, or degrade them by calling them names, you just need to understand that it is in their nature.

Armed with this knowledge, you can begin to understand why the qualities that they associate with the most desirable males isn't really money, looks or status. It is the accompanying traits that so often accompany these traits, that make those men more desirable. These traits, however, can be developed.

We will discuss here how to do this in future articles.


Just a side note - biology is also the reason that Men can get outrageously jealous.

How many times have you heard about how jealous men can get?

Some male mammals in nature will kill the offspring of another male in order to ensure that their genes are the ones to prevail.

With humans, as men do not carry the baby and therefore cannot be 100% sure if they are the father or not, men are naturally inclined to be more jealous with regards to sex biologically speaking.

Women will get jealous over infidelity, as well, as they need to be sure that they will be “provided for,” and cannot have the male running off with a more biologically fit specimen leaving them to fend for themselves and their child.

However, the severity of the female transgression is much greater. A man can have sex with many, many women and still provide for his wife and kids. A woman who has had another man’s child cannot have it both ways. Both have great emotional impact and are very damaging psychologically, but a woman’s now introduces a new life and the accompanying life-long issues.

Another side note - you should never get jealous in front of your girl. It is the result of a lack of confidence on your part in yourself, and women see straight through to this lack of self esteem. Needless to say, it is one of the most unattractive things for a woman to see in a man.

- bg

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