Violating these Ordinances will result in the revocation of your Man Card. Disobedience will be punished and you will be separated from your man card with the same swiftness a Samurai reserves for his opponent’s beheading.
Your Man Card is an important document stipulating that you are a Man, and that you recognize and respect the differences in Social Genders and are willing to fulfill your obligation as a man.
Ordinance 1 – Thou shall not use the word “cute”, not even in agreement with a chick.
Ordinance 2 – Thou shall not drink Light Beer and is only to drink Imported Beer when in another country and American Beer is technically Imported.
Ordinance 3 – Thou shall not refer to purses either qualitatively (i.e. as “cute”, which is a double violation, see ordinance 1) or as a “handbag” or “bag” as a shortened form of handbag. If you mean “bag” in the sense that it holds stuff, this is ok.
Ordinance 4 – Thou shall not refer to any diet or grooming that they are currently undertaking. Ever.
Ordinance 5 – Thou shall not drink white wine. If carrying white wine, must be for girlfriend/wife, and must have beer or whiskey in other hand. Red wine is ok if no other alcohol is available and is drunk from goblets while eating meat from bones.
Ordinance 6 – Thou shall not let a woman touch the barbeque.
Ordinance 7 – Thou shall not ride in the passenger seat while a woman is driving. You can always walk.
Ordinance 8 – Thou shall never drive a car, unless it has only 2 doors, or an SUV, which, let’s be real, is really just a station wagon anyway.
Ordinance 9 – Thou shall not get a mani-/pedi-. If you even know what this is you’re suspect.
Ordinance 10 – Thou shall not sit in the next closest seat in a movie theater. It’s bad enough you’re at the movies with another guy.
Ordinance 11 - Thou shall not use the next stall to any man when using the urinal unless there is no other option. There is absolutely no eye contact, smiling or talking in the restroom. The restroom is a place of business, act accordingly.
Ordinance 12 – Thou shall not refer to shampoo or hair gel as “product”.
Ordinance 13 – Thou shall not engage in any sport or physical activity without keeping score. It is only acceptable for the outcome to not produce a clear “winner” when you’re in kindergarten.
Ordinance 14 – Thou shall not drink alcoholic beverages of any bright or pastel coloring. Bloody Mary’s are ok so long as it is morning (or the first drink consumed upon rising), and Margaritas are ok under the following circumstances: it is the Fifth of May, you are in a Mexican restaurant or you are in Mexico.
Ordinance 15 – Thou shall not order a steak anything more than “medium-rare.” You must never disrespect meat.
Ordinance 16 – Thou shall not refer to celebrity relationships. Ever. Mistaken knowledge of such relationships must never be discussed publicly.
Ordinance 17 – Thou shall not bake, roast, fry or broil. Barbequing is the only acceptable form of preparing food for a man. Additionally, thou shall not refer to barbequing as “cooking.”
-bg
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
What Women Want
Ask them, and women will tell you they want a man who is kind, sensitive, ambitious, financially secure, responsible, mature and, for good measure, well-groomed/physically fit. Flip, then, through her scrapbook of exes and you’ll find a collection of photos that could double for a police station criminal album.
How, you wonder, could the sweet-natured, beautiful girl who covers her mouth when chewing her food and shifts uncomfortably during steamy movie scenes have dated so many tattooed club bouncers, malnourished guitar players and aspiring drug lords?
It is really not that complicated and men tend to give women the benefit of the doubt more than not. You see, women, despite protestations to the contrary, still want men to be men. Forget sensitive and emotionally available. A man is a man is a man. That means we spit, we’re rough, sexually aggressive, have hair on our chests and our balls and we’d sooner throw fists with someone making eyes at you than sit hand-in-hand on a therapist’s couch learning to be more, dare I say it, emotionally available.
Thing is, women would prefer it that way, too. Unfortunately for men, the feminist agenda has spread the notion that the more pussified a man is –that is, amenable to her whim and desire—the more desirable he is to the woman. Though the opposite is in fact true, men have eaten this up to their own detriment.
So you have this whole population of men now taking longer than women to get ready to go out, getting “manscaped”, learning to share feelings and be more emotional, tiptoeing over words or compliments lest they offend a chick or come across chauvinistic.
But remember, fellow men, actions speak louder than words. Most women still want the type of guy who is not afraid to let them know that to them they are, at times, a piece of meat to be devoured and enjoyed. If they are offended by that and you’re still with her, then grab your balls out of the Italian handbag you bought her, de-hyphenate your last name, you wimp, and begin asserting your rightful place as the man.
Ever hear this one from women so single and barren a Derby winner couldn’t knock them up? “I’m too picky. I’m too selective and refuse to settle. Most of the men I meet are jerks” This is a mantra used by women to put you on the defensive and make her look like the prize. Resist the urge to kowtow to this delusional spinster. Picky and/or selective women don’t describe their dating pool as “jerks,” because they don’t date jerks. Why? Because they’re picky, that’s why!! Next time a woman pulls this gem on you, reply with, “Picky, eh? Rate your last three boyfriends on a scale of 1 to 10.” If she’s anything most women, they’ll all fall woefully short of average. “Yeah, real picky.”
The fact is that women, for all their griping about loser exes and jerks they’ve dated, still want a man to be a man, which means, of course, if you want to get laid you have to be the jerk she complains about. Why? Because to women, jerk=man. Asshole=alpha-male. And, finally, “I’m just looking for a good guy”=”Why can’t I find a wimp that’ll do my bidding for me.” A different set of rules applies to men looking for more serious relationships. Still, mane of the same ideas apply if you want to keep a woman interested in you for the long haul.
Truth is, most women these days are good women, if severely misguided by the popular feminist ideology they’ve grown up on. They are torn, pulled in one direction by inexorable nature and their attraction to males who exhibit unequivocally male qualities; and in the other by their own self-hatred of this unexplainable attraction that is seemingly at odds with the feminist empowerment ideology that they themselves question.
The female empowerment movement, for all its original noble pursuits, has wrought pain and suffering among its female disciples. Millions of years of natural hardwiring and human evolution cannot be undone in 25 years, if ever. Nevertheless, the feminist agenda continues to wage a self-defeating battle whose futile end-goal (equality), it turns out, is not even in the interest of its followers.
What women want, as it turns out, is the same thing, oddly enough, that men want: For men to behave like guys and for women to be treated like ladies.
-al
How, you wonder, could the sweet-natured, beautiful girl who covers her mouth when chewing her food and shifts uncomfortably during steamy movie scenes have dated so many tattooed club bouncers, malnourished guitar players and aspiring drug lords?
It is really not that complicated and men tend to give women the benefit of the doubt more than not. You see, women, despite protestations to the contrary, still want men to be men. Forget sensitive and emotionally available. A man is a man is a man. That means we spit, we’re rough, sexually aggressive, have hair on our chests and our balls and we’d sooner throw fists with someone making eyes at you than sit hand-in-hand on a therapist’s couch learning to be more, dare I say it, emotionally available.
Thing is, women would prefer it that way, too. Unfortunately for men, the feminist agenda has spread the notion that the more pussified a man is –that is, amenable to her whim and desire—the more desirable he is to the woman. Though the opposite is in fact true, men have eaten this up to their own detriment.
So you have this whole population of men now taking longer than women to get ready to go out, getting “manscaped”, learning to share feelings and be more emotional, tiptoeing over words or compliments lest they offend a chick or come across chauvinistic.
But remember, fellow men, actions speak louder than words. Most women still want the type of guy who is not afraid to let them know that to them they are, at times, a piece of meat to be devoured and enjoyed. If they are offended by that and you’re still with her, then grab your balls out of the Italian handbag you bought her, de-hyphenate your last name, you wimp, and begin asserting your rightful place as the man.
Ever hear this one from women so single and barren a Derby winner couldn’t knock them up? “I’m too picky. I’m too selective and refuse to settle. Most of the men I meet are jerks” This is a mantra used by women to put you on the defensive and make her look like the prize. Resist the urge to kowtow to this delusional spinster. Picky and/or selective women don’t describe their dating pool as “jerks,” because they don’t date jerks. Why? Because they’re picky, that’s why!! Next time a woman pulls this gem on you, reply with, “Picky, eh? Rate your last three boyfriends on a scale of 1 to 10.” If she’s anything most women, they’ll all fall woefully short of average. “Yeah, real picky.”
The fact is that women, for all their griping about loser exes and jerks they’ve dated, still want a man to be a man, which means, of course, if you want to get laid you have to be the jerk she complains about. Why? Because to women, jerk=man. Asshole=alpha-male. And, finally, “I’m just looking for a good guy”=”Why can’t I find a wimp that’ll do my bidding for me.” A different set of rules applies to men looking for more serious relationships. Still, mane of the same ideas apply if you want to keep a woman interested in you for the long haul.
Truth is, most women these days are good women, if severely misguided by the popular feminist ideology they’ve grown up on. They are torn, pulled in one direction by inexorable nature and their attraction to males who exhibit unequivocally male qualities; and in the other by their own self-hatred of this unexplainable attraction that is seemingly at odds with the feminist empowerment ideology that they themselves question.
The female empowerment movement, for all its original noble pursuits, has wrought pain and suffering among its female disciples. Millions of years of natural hardwiring and human evolution cannot be undone in 25 years, if ever. Nevertheless, the feminist agenda continues to wage a self-defeating battle whose futile end-goal (equality), it turns out, is not even in the interest of its followers.
What women want, as it turns out, is the same thing, oddly enough, that men want: For men to behave like guys and for women to be treated like ladies.
-al
Thursday, January 25, 2007
The Four Pillars
There are Four Pillars that are necessary to address in order to achieve Balance in one's life. They are the Mental, Intellectual, Physical and Spiritual. Each must be developed in order to achieve the whole. If any one of these pillars is missing, balance collapses.
The Mental and Intellectual aspects would seem to be the same. Mental is a reference to one's frame of mind, attitude, the paradigm with which one views the world. Intellectual would be a reference to one's philosophical development and knowledge acquisition. The Mental is the Mind's Eye, the window upon which one sees the world. The Intellectual would inform the blueprint and provide the construction materials for a more elaborate window and frame.
The Mental
The first step in the deevolution to your natural state, both in application and in terms of importance, is Mental. However, as with all things, your most important ally is also your greatest adversary.
The first thing to do is to let go of desire. Now how do you reconcile this Taoist/Buddhist concept of Desirelessness with being goal-oriented and wanting to achieve more? If you think back on goals you have achieved in the past you will find that while achieving the goal was very satisfying, you very likely got so much more out of the endeavor than you thought you would. For instance, in achieving a goal such as running a marathon, what have you gotten out of it? Just that you ran 26.2 miles consecutively? No. You have gained so much more, that in fact, running the marathon only becomes a quantifiable illustration of what you've achieved. Hopefully what you have gained is the mental toughness and discipline that comes with practice, and a greater understanding of your body and of what you're capable. So the next time you're in an adverse situation, you access that mental toughness, or if you want to achieve another goal, you exercise that discipline, that comes from knowing that you can achieve things you set out to, no matter how insurmountable they might seem at the time you dared to dream them.
Therefore we will set goals, in fact writing them down. You should write everything down. It makes a promise to yourself and makes you accountable. And with these goals the shapeless idea of personal development will take greater shape in more tangible, quantifiable goals. These are not the end result, they are merely points on the horizon, that keep the ship ruddered. When on a ship at sea, you have to look at the horizon. If you look down at the water, you are likely to get seasick. Same as with life, keep looking at the horizon to avoid getting bogged down in the micro-details of everyday life.
So set goals and maintain your desirelessness. They are not in opposition. I will elaborate further on the difference later. The key is to not be married to results, as they will not bring you personal happiness or enlightenment. Rather focus on doing right by you, moment to moment, developing yourself and always keeping the horizon in view.
EXERCISE 1: Write down your goals - what is that you want to achieve? These are the horizons, the destination points. Refer to them daily.
This shouldn't be hard. They can be whatever you like. Maybe, it's to get a promotion, run a mile and a half in 7:30 minutes, or become more of a ladies man. Place one in each pillar.
Elevation
Don't get bogged down in the minutiae of everyday life. The first step is to limit emotion in your daily interactions in life. The minute you feel your emotions taking over, thereby pushing logic to the side, you need to acknowledge these moments. For instance, somebody cuts you off on the road and you curse and throw up your middle finger in a fit of road rage. That's micro, as emotion has gotten the better of you.
Hear yourself complaining about your boss at work? Listen to what you're saying and it is most likely emotion-based and micro. Acknowledge (to yourself!) that emotion has surfaced and pushed logic to the side and proceed.
Emotion is antithetical to logic. Emotion is the domain of the Feminine. This is not intended to be chauvinistic, and in fact the differences in men and women should be celebrated. We shouldn't be Ziggy Stardusted in to some androgynous automatons, devoid of emotion or sexual characteristics. Women should be celebrated for the wealth of emotion that they have, but your status as a man is clearly dependent on control of yours. Emotion clouds your mind of logic.
Don't believe me? Let's say someone starts some shit with you in front of your girl. This is a highly charged emotional situation. Adrenaline starts pumping through your veins like battery acid. What happens? Women may start crying, or start yelling at the other person further antagonizing them. Guys may start flexing, cursing, or increasing the volume of their voice. And what's the Man do? He's quiet. He's unaffected. He knows what he may have to do, and how he's going to resolve it. He's ready and confident he is capable. He's prepared. And that other guy? Well he can't set the Man off emotionally and he can't intimidate him. Now he's thinking "why isn't he scared? why isn't he emotional?" and now emotion is beginning to cloud his logic. The Man, in controlling his emotions, manages to control the entire situation even outside himself. This is why we begin with ourselves, and not the outside world. It's one of those Wizard Of Oz, new agey things; you carried the answers with you all along. They were inside you. Oh that's rich.
This example is rife with lessons in Meninism, and therefore I will refer to it often.
Exercise 2: Elevate to the Macro
Be mindful of and acknowledge situations where emotions enter the equation for you and for others. If emotion gets the better of you, return to balance as quickly as possible. Logically review the situation and emotion's part in it. What larger purpose did the emotion serve and did it help you (them)? You will find that it serves little or no purpose and is indeed micro behavior.
-bg
The Mental and Intellectual aspects would seem to be the same. Mental is a reference to one's frame of mind, attitude, the paradigm with which one views the world. Intellectual would be a reference to one's philosophical development and knowledge acquisition. The Mental is the Mind's Eye, the window upon which one sees the world. The Intellectual would inform the blueprint and provide the construction materials for a more elaborate window and frame.
The Mental
The first step in the deevolution to your natural state, both in application and in terms of importance, is Mental. However, as with all things, your most important ally is also your greatest adversary.
The first thing to do is to let go of desire. Now how do you reconcile this Taoist/Buddhist concept of Desirelessness with being goal-oriented and wanting to achieve more? If you think back on goals you have achieved in the past you will find that while achieving the goal was very satisfying, you very likely got so much more out of the endeavor than you thought you would. For instance, in achieving a goal such as running a marathon, what have you gotten out of it? Just that you ran 26.2 miles consecutively? No. You have gained so much more, that in fact, running the marathon only becomes a quantifiable illustration of what you've achieved. Hopefully what you have gained is the mental toughness and discipline that comes with practice, and a greater understanding of your body and of what you're capable. So the next time you're in an adverse situation, you access that mental toughness, or if you want to achieve another goal, you exercise that discipline, that comes from knowing that you can achieve things you set out to, no matter how insurmountable they might seem at the time you dared to dream them.
Therefore we will set goals, in fact writing them down. You should write everything down. It makes a promise to yourself and makes you accountable. And with these goals the shapeless idea of personal development will take greater shape in more tangible, quantifiable goals. These are not the end result, they are merely points on the horizon, that keep the ship ruddered. When on a ship at sea, you have to look at the horizon. If you look down at the water, you are likely to get seasick. Same as with life, keep looking at the horizon to avoid getting bogged down in the micro-details of everyday life.
So set goals and maintain your desirelessness. They are not in opposition. I will elaborate further on the difference later. The key is to not be married to results, as they will not bring you personal happiness or enlightenment. Rather focus on doing right by you, moment to moment, developing yourself and always keeping the horizon in view.
EXERCISE 1: Write down your goals - what is that you want to achieve? These are the horizons, the destination points. Refer to them daily.
This shouldn't be hard. They can be whatever you like. Maybe, it's to get a promotion, run a mile and a half in 7:30 minutes, or become more of a ladies man. Place one in each pillar.
Elevation
Don't get bogged down in the minutiae of everyday life. The first step is to limit emotion in your daily interactions in life. The minute you feel your emotions taking over, thereby pushing logic to the side, you need to acknowledge these moments. For instance, somebody cuts you off on the road and you curse and throw up your middle finger in a fit of road rage. That's micro, as emotion has gotten the better of you.
Hear yourself complaining about your boss at work? Listen to what you're saying and it is most likely emotion-based and micro. Acknowledge (to yourself!) that emotion has surfaced and pushed logic to the side and proceed.
Emotion is antithetical to logic. Emotion is the domain of the Feminine. This is not intended to be chauvinistic, and in fact the differences in men and women should be celebrated. We shouldn't be Ziggy Stardusted in to some androgynous automatons, devoid of emotion or sexual characteristics. Women should be celebrated for the wealth of emotion that they have, but your status as a man is clearly dependent on control of yours. Emotion clouds your mind of logic.
Don't believe me? Let's say someone starts some shit with you in front of your girl. This is a highly charged emotional situation. Adrenaline starts pumping through your veins like battery acid. What happens? Women may start crying, or start yelling at the other person further antagonizing them. Guys may start flexing, cursing, or increasing the volume of their voice. And what's the Man do? He's quiet. He's unaffected. He knows what he may have to do, and how he's going to resolve it. He's ready and confident he is capable. He's prepared. And that other guy? Well he can't set the Man off emotionally and he can't intimidate him. Now he's thinking "why isn't he scared? why isn't he emotional?" and now emotion is beginning to cloud his logic. The Man, in controlling his emotions, manages to control the entire situation even outside himself. This is why we begin with ourselves, and not the outside world. It's one of those Wizard Of Oz, new agey things; you carried the answers with you all along. They were inside you. Oh that's rich.
This example is rife with lessons in Meninism, and therefore I will refer to it often.
Exercise 2: Elevate to the Macro
Be mindful of and acknowledge situations where emotions enter the equation for you and for others. If emotion gets the better of you, return to balance as quickly as possible. Logically review the situation and emotion's part in it. What larger purpose did the emotion serve and did it help you (them)? You will find that it serves little or no purpose and is indeed micro behavior.
-bg
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
“Men”inism
The purpose of this blog is to heighten the understanding and increase the sensitivity between men and women by bridging the ever-widening emotional, political, sexual and social gap between us.
A secondary goal of this blog, what will be an ongoing discussion, is whether the current shift towards a male-female paradigm that seeks to defy our inherent differences is in fact in service of equality, or inequality.
The ideas written here are written by men. Men and women alike are encouraged to write in with dissenting opinions, as this is NOT a “woman bashing” site.
Those women who believe that the ideas expressed here aim to disempower or degrade them in any way in order for men to “take back what’s ours” are decidedly wrong. This will be a discussion, frank and politically incorrect, about what is going on between men and women today.
Among the topics that will be discussed are:
--The vaginization of men via popular culture and the media.
--The role of feminism in the decay of male-female relationships (professional, sexual, political)
--“Fem”inism vs. “Men”inism
--Why women’s rise in the workplace has contributed to increase usage of prescription pills, depression and suicide among women.
--Divorce statistics and what they mean.
--The decay of marriage…it’s a good thing.
--The epidemic of cheating. Who or what is to blame?
--The Cleavers vs. The Bundys
--Why a woman should never be president.
--Mannys, Murses & Metrosexuals…The slow extinction of Men.
--The Baloney of Alimony
--A man’s Right To Choose.
--Contraceptive Contraditions
To be sure, the positions taken on the topics discussed will be controversial. They might anger some women, perhaps most. We don’t give a shit. It is time that someone brings to light the biggest social scourge plaguing this country today—the blurring of gender identification.
The once noble goal of female empowerment has been perverted at the expense of men. Thanks to the last 25 years, our young daughters now grow up with sick notions of men as dispensable sperm donors and ATM machines, to be used and discarded like soiled Kleenex. Deadbeat fathers, cheating husbands, asshole boyfriends. These are the prefixes our young women learn before they even reach puberty. Be it from the media, spurned single mothers or the overly-politicized, heavily-vaginized education system, these are the messages our future girlfriends, mothers and wives are receiving.
Men have had enough. The revolution begins now. Let the “Men”inist Movement begin!
-al
A secondary goal of this blog, what will be an ongoing discussion, is whether the current shift towards a male-female paradigm that seeks to defy our inherent differences is in fact in service of equality, or inequality.
The ideas written here are written by men. Men and women alike are encouraged to write in with dissenting opinions, as this is NOT a “woman bashing” site.
Those women who believe that the ideas expressed here aim to disempower or degrade them in any way in order for men to “take back what’s ours” are decidedly wrong. This will be a discussion, frank and politically incorrect, about what is going on between men and women today.
Among the topics that will be discussed are:
--The vaginization of men via popular culture and the media.
--The role of feminism in the decay of male-female relationships (professional, sexual, political)
--“Fem”inism vs. “Men”inism
--Why women’s rise in the workplace has contributed to increase usage of prescription pills, depression and suicide among women.
--Divorce statistics and what they mean.
--The decay of marriage…it’s a good thing.
--The epidemic of cheating. Who or what is to blame?
--The Cleavers vs. The Bundys
--Why a woman should never be president.
--Mannys, Murses & Metrosexuals…The slow extinction of Men.
--The Baloney of Alimony
--A man’s Right To Choose.
--Contraceptive Contraditions
To be sure, the positions taken on the topics discussed will be controversial. They might anger some women, perhaps most. We don’t give a shit. It is time that someone brings to light the biggest social scourge plaguing this country today—the blurring of gender identification.
The once noble goal of female empowerment has been perverted at the expense of men. Thanks to the last 25 years, our young daughters now grow up with sick notions of men as dispensable sperm donors and ATM machines, to be used and discarded like soiled Kleenex. Deadbeat fathers, cheating husbands, asshole boyfriends. These are the prefixes our young women learn before they even reach puberty. Be it from the media, spurned single mothers or the overly-politicized, heavily-vaginized education system, these are the messages our future girlfriends, mothers and wives are receiving.
Men have had enough. The revolution begins now. Let the “Men”inist Movement begin!
-al
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)